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Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period. " I said, thinking he was just feeling randy, and annoyed that he would risk our friendship on a whim. (Or, at least, MY insecurities.) His writing career was going well, and the work he did interested me. What's more, I was terrified we might ruin the friendship. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our lack of chemistry.The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows? I had a great time with him--we were always laughing; always talking about interesting things; always comfortable discussing our emotions, fears and insecurities. In other words, it was hard to imagine a more ideal boyfriend. for whatever decidedly peculiar reason, I'd never felt an overwhelming urge to get it on with him. Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy (whom the ladies generally love). Your best friend also likes him, but he doesn’t like her. When my fiancee Jenny and I got together, we’d been best friends for five years and she had dated four different guys that I was close to (one of whom I met through her, three of whom she met through me). So there were all sorts of people who could potentially get upset in the mix. I’ll explain why in a second, but first up, let’s just clarify the situation: You like a guy and he likes you, too.(Dear me, I'm even tearing up a little as I write this.)Anyway, the experience has me convinced that BOTH friends need to feel pretty strong chemistry before they move from being platonic pals to romantic partners.
As a friend, he will not only be aware of your personal weaknesses, but he will know how to respond to them in a way that is constructive to the relationship and to your desire to improve yourself.
On that same note, you'll be aware of his bad fashion sense, his corny jokes, and his strange fondness for period pieces before you start dating him.
Heck, you might even love him all the more for the quirks you would find annoying in anybody else.
Isaac has written for The New York Times, GQ, The Business of Fashion, Esquire, Details and more.
He lives in the East Village, enjoys karaoke, and talks to his mum on the phone every day.