Kiss a frog dating site
Maybe you wouldn’t dive in front of the car, but you’d run and wave your hands and scream at the top of your lungs – anything to avert what is sure to be a serious accident.This is what it felt like to be featured on my friend Rori Raye’s blog last week, in a post entitled “The Circular Dating Argument”.Romeo, like many a singleton, is looking for love this Valentine’s Day. he’s facing long odds, as the only known Sehuencas water frog in existence.Global Wildlife Conservation () has added his profile to the dating site Match.Just dump him and find the man who treats you well and ultimately wants a commitment. The friction here comes from women who want to KNOW that their investment in a man is going to lead to marriage. All you can know is whether he’s a man of high character, a man who has spoken of a future, a man whose heart is in the right place. But just because a man isn’t positive he wants to marry you doesn’t mean you break the bonds of exclusivity. She can certainly dump him (which is a good strategy when you’re getting past three years of dating.) But seeing other guys while you’re boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t stand to gain anything from “being right” in this situation. But since I still believe my take on the male mindset is equally valuable as any woman’s take on it, I wanted to respond to the main areas in which Rori’s readers falsely dissected and misinterpreted my argument: He should know if he wants to marry me. Nobody told you to invest three years of your life in a man who has stated that he never wants to get married. But if you have a boyfriend who wants to get married one day, but he’s not sure if it’s to you, your best bet is to give him lots of time to figure it out before proposing. Pat Allen said: “If you tell a man what to do and he listens, he isn’t a man.” I’m not stating whether this is fair or not; I’m merely stating that it’s Some men just know after 3 months, therefore all men should know that fast. Lots of marriages began with the man knowing right away.If I’m your boyfriend and you start seeing other men, you are essentially cheating on me, and it doesn’t make me feel better about you, our relationship, or our future together. I speak for most men and remain firm in this sentiment. But if you start to “circular date” when you have a man who is on the precipice of wanting to spend the rest of his life with you, you might actually be driving him away. It’s advice that may make women feel better, but doesn’t do what it’s designed to do. If you’re under 40, we’re talking at least two years. But trying to make him figure out the answer to something that he couldn’t possibly know is a recipe for a breakup. Actually, anyone who claims to “just know” that it’s “right” after one week, one month, or three months has a very selective memory. And a majority of those marriages ended in divorce.
And a responsible decision-maker doesn’t make the decision to marry a woman until he knows her for a really long time and can see how she handles life situations.
Which is why I’m always flattered when Rori reaches out to tell me she enjoyed one of my newsletters or wants to mention me in a blog post.
And after an interview I did with her last week for her audio series, we engaged in an email dialogue about one of her signature concepts: Circular Dating.
That’s pretty much the gist of what I said to Rori’s readers. (By the way, if there are any guys here who are cool with your girlfriend dating other guys as a way of protecting herself and forcing you to shit or get off the pot, please speak up. And that’s dangerous if you believe that this is solid advice that considers how men think. Which is why I felt like the guy standing on the side of the road, waving his arms, determined not to let any women go over the cliff with this well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided, take on how to get a man to commit. I “just knew” that my girlfriend in 2003 was right for me. Same with the one in 2004, who dumped me after 3 months. Be careful about rushing into things: you very well could marry the wrong man – where if you dated him for two years, you would have learned more about him and potentially averted a mistake.
I used metaphors, anecdotes, capital letters, and wrote the way I normally do on here – blunt, powerful, and very confident that what I wrote has a sound basis in truth. I’m open to being wrong here.) Predictably, then came the blowback. A man who is right for you would not risk losing you to another man while he makes up his mind.