Dating boyfriend with aspergers
He may have a good job, often as an engineer or in an IT-related field, such as computer programming.
Although the deficits of a man with AS become painfully clear in time, they often present as normal in the beginning of a relationship.
Men with Asperger’s Syndrome are not able to recognize their own lack of empathy or their other deficits.
o not minimize the extent of my having been changed from a vivacious, sensual, happy, loving, athletic, healthy, wealthy, bright, articulate, fairly socially adept human to being melded and molded to accommodate an autistic adult into exactly the opposite of who I am for the sake of a one-sided relationship.” Initially, a woman may admire the man’s intelligence, knowledge, good manners, old-fashioned sensibilities, unconventional charm, child-like qualities, and his practical, rational way of looking at the world.
If nothing else, many of us (myself included) have learned through careful study, trial and error, and self-discipline how to socially “function” at the level of people who don’t have AS.
If it’s well-hidden, and you’re not specifically looking for it, the condition can reveal itself slowly, one misunderstanding and baffling meltdown at a time. How many of us are struggling with something that reveals itself in such cruelly deceptive ways?
Many study the words and behavior of NT people around them, and copy it.
They learn exactly what they should do and say in a romantic relationship, since none of it comes naturally to them.
If life in a society is a game (and make no mistake about it, it is), having Asperger’s forces you to play while learning two-thirds of the rules as you go along, even as everyone else knows them instinctively … There is more of a connection between these two things than you might think.
After all, there are few places in society where social rules are as crucially important and deeply entrenched as in the sphere of courtship, and being mildly autistic—or having Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), if you use the label as it was before the APA revised its diagnostic criteria last year—impairs your ability to comprehend nonverbal communication.